you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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