It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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