see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
