Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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