First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
