Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
