They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
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bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Watching her eat just hurts me
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This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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