Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I came so hard my ears popped.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
