i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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