Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
