did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
