i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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