I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
