Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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