covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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