I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize