....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i just made my gag reflex go away.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
His hands were made for my vagina.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize