Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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