yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
