i just had sex bonerless
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
