Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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