Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
