PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
