they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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