They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
