I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
