We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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