News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I forgot wine drunk hurts
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
