Where did you get a picture of my penis
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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