talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
