if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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