Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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