Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
