the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
