just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
