they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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