More tranny stories later!
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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