yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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