Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's shark week go big or go home
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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