how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize