i think my tv is drunk
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
