We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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