All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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