what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
