I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You ruined the universe
Randomize
