I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
