U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
