ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
