the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
