His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
don't judge my taste in strippers
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
