you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
