I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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