guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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