I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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