***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Buhtt sex?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
