home. puking in laundry basket.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
