Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
