I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
