I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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