I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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