omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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