Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
