where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
