Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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