my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
